Category: Women’s Health

Sexual Lubrication

Probably the most frequent cause for dyspareunia originating with symptoms of burning, itching, or aching is a lack of adequate production of vaginal lubrication with sexual functioning.

During attempted penile intromission or with long-maintained coital connection, there must be adequate lubrication or there will be irritative distress for either or both coital partners.

Adequate production of vaginal lubrication is for women the physiological equivalent of erective attainment for men and her representation to her male partner of psychological readiness for vaginal penetration.

A consistent lack of functional levels of vaginal lubrication is as near as any woman can come to paralleling a man’s lack of effective erection.

Inadequate development of vaginal lubrication has many causes, but by far the most common is lack of interest in the particular opportunity or identification with the involved sexual partner. Women must experience positive input from their sexual value systems if they are to respond repetitively and effectively to their mate’s sexual approaches.

Women who cannot think or feel sexually, those reflecting fears of sexual performance, and even those acting out a spectator’s role in sexual functioning, either do not develop sufficient vaginal lubrication to support a painless coital episode or, if penetrated successfully, they cease production of the necessary lubricative material shortly after intravaginal penile thrusting is initiated.

Deep Penetration

Additionally, women fearful of pain with deep vaginal penetration, fearful of pregnancy with any coital connection, fearful of exposure to social compromise, and fearful of sexual inadequacy are frequently poor producers of vaginal lubrication. Any Component of fear present in sexual experiences reduces the receptivity to sensate input, thereby blunting biophysical responsivity.

If there is insufficient vaginal lubrication, there may or may not be acute pain with full penile intromission, depending primarily upon the parity of the woman, but they’re usually will be vaginal burning, irritation, or aching both during and after coital connection.

There are tens of thousands of women who become markedly apprehensive at the onset of any definitive sexual approach, simply because they know severe vaginal irritation will be experienced not only during but frequently for hours after any significantly maintained coital connection.

Not to be forgotten as a specific segment among the legions of women afflicted by inadequate production of vaginal lubrication are those in their postmenopausal years. If they are not supported by adequate sex-steroid-replacement techniques, the production of vaginal lubrication usually drops off markedly as the vaginal mucosa routinely turns atrophic.

There well may be aching and irritation in the vagina for a day or two after a coital connection for women contending with this evidence of sex-steroid starvation.

A major category of women tending to be poor lubrication producers during coital connection is that a significant segment of the female population with overt lesbian orientation. Many women psychosexually committed to a homophile orientation attempt regularity of coital connection for socioeconomic reasons. Frequently, they may not lubricate well during heterosexual activity, although there usually is ample lubrication when they are directly involved in the homosexual expression.

In most instances:

Inadequate production of vaginal lubrication can be reversed with a definite therapeutic approach. Certainly, women burdened by a multiplicity of sex-oriented fears can be provided psychotherapeutic relief of their phobias and subsequently reversed with relative ease from their particular pattern of sexual inadequacy.

Those women with chronic vaginal itching and irritation can be protected from continuing dyspareunia because both infectious and chemical vaginitis are reversible under proper clinical control. Senile vaginitis responds in short order to adequate sex-steroid-replacement techniques.

There are only two major categories of women for whom the co-therapists have little to offer to constitute effective production of vaginal lubrication: first, women mated to men for whom they have little or no personal identification, understanding, affection, or even sexual respect; and second, homosexually oriented women practicing coition for socioeconomic reasons with no interest in their male companions as sexual partners.

Undesired Sex

As opposed to the symptoms of aching, irritation, or burning in the vagina, complaints of severe pain developed during penile thrusting provide the most difficulty in delineating between subjective and objective etiology.

Although many women register this type of complaint when seeking to avoid undesired sexual approaches, there are some basic pathological conditions in the female pelvis that can and do engender severe pain in response to active coital connection.

One of the difficulties in delineating the severity of the complaint of dyspareunia is to identify pelvic pathology of a quality sufficient to support the female partner’s significant complaints of painful coition. The pelvic residual from severe infection or pelvic implants of endometriosis usually is easily identified by adequate pelvic and rectal examinations.

These clinical entities will be discussed briefly in context later in the topic. Current attention is drawn to probably the most frequently overlooked of the major physiological syndromes creating intense pelvic pain during coital connection.

One of the most obscure of pelvic pathological syndromes, yet one of the most psychosexually crippling, is traumatic laceration of the ligaments supporting the uterus. This syndrome was described clinically. Five women have been referred to the Foundation for relief of subjective symptoms of dyspareunia after referral sources had assured the husbands that there was no plausible physical reason for the constant complaint of severe pain with deep penile thrust.

These 5 postpartum women had severe broad ligament lacerations and were relieved of their distress by definitive surgical approaches, not by psychotherapy. Therefore, they do not represent a component of the statistical analysis of treatment for sexual dysfunction.

Three women reflecting the onset of dyspareunia after criminal abortion techniques also have been seen in consultation and are not reflected in the statistics of the sexual inadequacy study. Three more women have been seen in gynecological consultation for acquired dyspareunia after gang-rape experiences.

They also have not been an integral part of the sexual-dysfunction study. These clinical problems will be mentioned in context. When first seen clinically, women with traumatic lacerations of the uterine supports, acquired with delivery or by specific criminal abortion techniques, present complaints that commonly accrue from pelvic vasocongestion, dyspareunia, dysmenorrhea, and a feeling of being excessively tired.

These complaints are secondary or acquired in nature. The traumatized women consistently can relate the onset of their acquired dyspareunia to one particular obstetrical experience even from among three or four such episodes.

The basic intercourse distress arises with deep penetration of the penis. Women describe the pain associated with intercourse to be as if their husbands had “hit something” with the penis during deep vaginal penetration.

These involved women may note other physical irritations frequently seen with chronic pelvic vasocongestion, a constantly nagging backache, throbbing or generalized pelvic aching, and occasionally, a sense that “everything is falling out.”

These symptoms are made worse in any situation requiring a woman to be on her feet for an exceptional length of time, as a full day spent doing heavy housecleaning or working as a saleswoman in a department store.

Most women lose interest in any regularity of sexual expression when distressed by acquired dyspareunia. Handicapped by constant anticipation of painful pelvic stimuli created by penile thrusting, they also may lose any previously established facility for orgasmic return.

The basic pathology of the syndrome of broad ligament laceration is confined to the soft tissues of the female pelvis. The striking features of the pelvic examination are the position of the uterus and almost always in severe third-degree retroversion and the particularly unique feeling that develops for the examiner with manipulation of the cervix.

This portion of the uterus feels just as if it were being rotated as a universal joint. It may be moved in any direction, up, down, laterally, or on an anterior-posterior plane with minimal, if any, correspondingly responsive movement of the corpus and body of the uterus.

Even the juncture of the cervix to the lower uterine segment is ill-defined. The feeling is one of an exaggerated Hegar’s sign of early pregnancy, in which the cervix appears to move in a manner completely independent of the attached corpus.

In addition to the “universal joint” feeling returned to the examiner when moving the cervix, a severe pain response usually is elicited by any type of cervical movement. However, pain is primarily occasioned by pushing the cervix in an upward plane.

In the more severe cases, either in advanced bilateral broad ligament laceration or in a presenting complaint of five years or more in duration even mild lateral motion of the cervix will occasion a painful response. During the examination, the retroverted uterus appears to be perhaps twice increased in size.

Pressing against the corpus in the cul-de-sac to reduce the third-degree retroversion also will produce a marked pain response. When the examiner applies upward pressure on the cervix or pressure in the cul-de-sac against the corpus, the patient frequently responds to the painful stimulus by stating, “It’s just like the pain I have with intercourse.”

A detailed obstetrical history is a salient feature in establishing the diagnosis of the broad ligament laceration syndrome. The untoward obstetrical event creating the lacerations may be classified as surgical obstetrics, as an obstetrical accident, or even as a poor obstetrical technique.

Occasionally, women with both the positive pelvic findings and the subjective symptoms of this syndrome cannot provide a positive history of obstetrical trauma, but this situation does not rule out the existence of the syndrome.

Many women are unaware of an unusual obstetrical event because they were under advanced degrees of sedation or even full anesthesia at the time.

Precipitate deliveries, difficult forceps deliveries, complicated breech deliveries, and postmature-infant deliveries are all suspect as obstetrical events that occasionally contribute to tears in the maternal soft parts.

If these tears are established in the supports of the uterus (broad ligaments) the immediate postpartum onset of severe dyspareunia can be explained anatomically and physiologically. It is important to emphasize clinically that although a woman may not be able to describe a specific obstetrical misfortune in her history, she well may be able to date the onset of her acquired dyspareunia to one particular obstetrical event.

Three cases have been seen in which a criminal abortion was performed by extensively packing the vaginal barrel, leading ultimately to dilation of the cervix and expulsion of uterine content.

These extensive vaginal-packing episodes created tears of the broad ligaments, completely parallel to those occasioned by actual obstetrical trauma. Each woman, although unaware of the etiological significance, dated the onset of the symptoms of acquired dyspareunia to the specific experience with the vaginal-packing type of abortive technique.

Increasing complaints of the inadequacy of human sexual function, it would seem that the potpourri of cultures that influence the behavior of so many might designate some area less vital to the quality of living than the sexual expression to receive and to bear the burden of the social ills of human existence.

As recently as the turn of the century, after marriage rites and the advent of offspring were celebrated as evidence of perpetuation of family and race, the woman was considered to have done her duty, fulfilled herself, or both, depending of course upon the individual frame of reference.

In reality:

The society honored her contribution as a sexual entity only about her breeding capacity, never relative to the enhancement of the marital relationship by her sexual expression.

In contradistinction to the recognition accorded her as a breeding animal, the psychological importance of her physical presence during the act of conception was considered nonexistent. It must be acknowledged.

However, there always have been men and women in every culture who identified their need for one another as complete human entities, each denying nothing to the other including the vital component of sexual exchange.

Unfortunately, whether from sexual fear or deprivation (both usually the result of too little knowledge), those who socially could not make peace with their sexuality were the ones to dictate and record concepts of female sexual identity.

The code of the Puritan and similar ethics permitted only communication in the negative vein of rejection. There was no acceptable discussion of what was sexually supportive of marital relationships.

So far the discussion has focused on an account of past influences from which female sexual function has inherited its baseline for functional inadequacy.

Because this influence still permeates the current “cultural” assignment of the female sexual role, its existence must be recognized before the psychophysiological components of dysfunction can be dealt with comprehensively.

Socio-Cultural Influence

More often than not places a woman in a position in which she must adapt, sublimate, inhibit, or even distort her natural capacity to function sexually to fulfill her genetically assigned role. Herein lies a major source of a woman’s sexual dysfunction.

The adaptation of sexual function to meet socially desirable conditions represents a system operant in most successfully interactive behavior, which in turn is the essence of a mutually enhancing sexual relationship.

However, to adapt the sexual function to a philosophy of rejection is to risk impairment of the capacity for effective social interaction. To sublimate sexual function can enhance both selves and that state to which the repression is committed if the practice of sublimation lies within the coping capacity of the particular individual who adopts it.

To inhibit sexual function beyond that realistic degree which equally serves social and sexual value systems positively, or to distort or maladapt sexual function until the capacity.

And to function is extinguished, which is to diminish the quality of the individual and of any marital relationship to which he or she is committed.

When it is realized that this psychosocial backdrop is prevalent in histories developed from husband and wives with complaints of female sexual inadequacy, the psychophysiological and situational aspects of female orgasmic dysfunction can be contemplated realistically.

The human female’s facility of physiological response to sexual tensions and her capacity for orgasmic release never have been fully appreciated.

Lack of comprehension may have resulted from the fact that functional evaluation was filtered through the encompassing influence of socio-cultural formulations previously described in this topic.

There also has been a failure to conceptualize the whole of sexual experience for both the human male and female as constituted in two totally separate systems of influence that coexist naturally.

The potential for orgasmic dysfunction: highlighted in the psychosocial-sexual histories of those women in marital units referred to the Foundation can be described in a composite profile.

A baseline of dysfunctional distress was provided by specific material recalled not only from sexually developmental years but further encompassing all opportunities of potential sexual imprinting, conditioning, and experience storage.

Described in many settings, the dissimulation of sexual feeling consistently was reported as a manifest requirement or as a residual of earlier learning, operant as a requirement. Imprinting is that process that helps define the behavioral patterns of sexual expression and signal their arousal.

Dysfunction Origin 
of the negative conditioning varied widely. At one pole it represented the influence of deliberate parental omission of reference to or discussion of sexual function as a component of the pattern of living. This informationally underprivileged background also failed to provide an example of female sexuality, recognizably secure in expression, which could be emulated.

In both situations, the sexually and socially maturing young woman was left to draw formative conclusions by negative implication, or, in the absence of this form of direction, she was forced to react to any influence available from her socio-cultural environment.

The other extreme of rejective conditioning was reported as rigidly explicit but consistently negative admonition by parental and/or religious authority against personal admission or overt expression of sexual feeling.

Negative variants, there were many levels of uninformed guidance for the young girl or woman as she struggled with psychosocial enigmas, cultural restrictions, and her own physical sexual awareness.

Usually, such guidance, though often well-intentioned, was more a hindrance than a help as she developed her sexual value system and ultimately her natural sexual function.

In a direct parallel to the degree to which the young girl developing a sexual value system seemed to have dissimulated her sexual interests during phases of imprinting, conditioning, and information storing, older women, now sexually dysfunctional, reported consistent precoital evidence of repression of sexual identity in mature sexual encounters.

Residual repression of sexual responsivity in the adult usually went well beyond any earlier theoretical requirements for a social adaptation necessary to maintain virginity, to restrain a partner’s sexual demand, or even to conduct interpersonal relationships in a manner considered appropriate by a representative social authority. Not infrequently the residual repression of sexual responsivity was so acute as to be emphasized clinically with the time-worn cry. If you are in the market for superclone , Super Clone Rolex is the place to go! The largest collection of fake Rolex watches online!

Most primarily non-orgasmic women

Repressed expression of sexual identity through ignorance, fear, or authoritative direction was the initial inhibiting influence in the failure of sexual function.

Not infrequently this source of repression was identified as a crucial factor of influence for situationally non-orgasmic women as well, although these individuals had the facility to overcome or circumnavigate its control under certain circumstances.

When requirements of the sexual value system prevailing during initial opportunities at sexual function could not be fulfilled because of the component of repression, each woman attempted without success to compensate in her desire for sexual expression by developing unrealistic partner identification, the concept of social secureness, or pleasure in environmental circumstance.

Failure of her own sexual values to serve, there was almost a blind seeking for value substitutes. When a workable substitution was not identified and the void of psychosexual insecurity remained unfilled, sexual dysfunction became an ongoing way of life.

Professionals many times look for a specific influence or conditioning that predetermines sexual failure, and in most instances, it can be identified if the delving goes deep enough.

Instances of neither positive nor negative dominance by either biophysical or psychosocial influence structures. If a woman has never established a close juxtaposition between the biophysical and psychosocial systems of influence because she has lived in a protective vacuum, she will not have been stimulated to develop her own sexual value system and therefore will tend to neutralize most input material of sexual implication.

The case history

below is presented to emphasize the fact that there need be no dominant influence (either positive or negative) in the development of primary orgasmic dysfunction.

Mrs. B was the only child of parents in their thirties when she was born. Both parents, teachers in a small, church-oriented college, were more restrained by the habit of life-style and their own relationship than by religious influence.

The child did not develop as an extension of their presumed intellectual interests but became the “doll” whom they dressed exquisitely, handled little, and disregarded emotionally (as she perceived her upbringing). There was no real source of female identification, no opportunity to establish a sexual value system.

All decisions on her behalf included the theoretically objective presentation of two alternatives, but parental, primarily mother’s preference was emphasized. Mrs. B had no recollection of making a definitive decision of her own until her sophomore year at college when she chose for a husband a relatively older man (he was in graduate school and seven years her senior). With this one decision, she again relinquished all opportunity for self-determination.

They married upon his graduation at the end of her junior year in college. His assumption of total authority in marriage appeared more by default than demand and continued through 11 years of marriage, during which two children were born.

During the first years of the marriage, Mrs. B maintained a complacent attitude toward her sexual role within the marriage. However, in the last six years of the marriage, she developed an intense desire to realize full sexual expression for herself and greater sexual pleasure for her husband.

Husband behavior

In this latter period her husband’s behavior, though warm and protective, was highly restrained in sexual as well as other facets of the marital relationship. He participated in the Foundation’s program with complete willingness, although with little concept of what or how anything in the marriage could be changed.

Reared by an older aunt and uncle he had learned little, by the direction of observation, of the potential for human interaction on a personal level. However, he fortunately had not been given any primarily negative indoctrination.

Mrs. B’s enthusiasm for an effective sexual relationship within the marriage was and still is defined as real, but she has been unable to overcome anesthesia to any sensory perception that she can relate to erotic arousal. She has been unable to establish sensory reference within which to develop and relate her well-defined affection and regard for her husband.

The two contributing systems of influence on sexual function:

Remained in displaced positioning one from the other. To date, she has the demonstrated-insufficient emotional or intellectual capacity to establish a symbiotic state between her two systems of influence.

It is with the mixed clinical reaction that the co-therapists regard the positive reaction of Mr. B to therapy. His response was one of delighted enthusiasm for the concept of interaction marked by both physical and verbal communication.

His feeling for his wife was intensified and he has become completely comfortable in a demonstrative marital role. While both partners feel that the alteration in the quality of the marital relationship is of significant proportion, the therapy has in fact failed to achieve the aim of reversal of the presenting distress.

This case represents a strikingly intense degree of negative conditioning, yet there was little content in the history that could be termed specifically negative in its rejection of sexual expression.

This case also represents an example of the possible clinical warning system revealed by a negative reaction to the use of a moisturizing lotion as a medium of physical exchange. Mrs. B found its use “distracting” and of little meaning to the exchange with her partner.

While Mr. B found it to be a crucial contribution to establishing his initial ability to touch and feel with comfort and receptivity.

During the rapid treatment program, the daily report and ensuing discussions between the co-therapists and marital partners describing the non-orgasmic wife’s reactions and as well as those of her interacting husband, provide an incisive measure of the degree to which the requirements of her functioning sexual value system are being met or negated, or the extent to which she progressively can adapt her requirements.

These discussions provide a simultaneous opportunity for a more finite evaluation of the levels of interactive contribution to sexual function by her biophysical and psychosocial systems.

The treatment of both primary and situational orgasmic dysfunction requires a basic understanding by patients and co-therapists that the peak of sex-tension increment resulting in the orgasmic release cannot be willed or forced.

Orgasmic experience evolves as a direct result of individually valued erotic stimuli accrued by the woman to the level necessary for psychophysiological release. Just as the trigger mechanism which stimulates the regularity of expulsive uterine contractions sending a woman into labor is still unknown, so is the mechanism that triggers orgasmic release from sex-tension increment.

Probably they are inseparably entwined to identify one may be to know the other.

It seems more accurate to consider female orgasmic response as an acceptance of naturally occurring stimuli that have been given erotic significance by an individual sexual value system than to depict it as a learned response.

There are many case histories recorded in this and related studies reporting orgasmic incidence in the developing human female at ages that correspond with ages reported in histories of onset of male masturbation and nocturnal emission.

These clearly described objective accounts are considered accurate because they correlated with subjective recall provided by several hundred women interrogated during previously reported laboratory studies. The initial authoritative direction in therapy includes suggestions to the marital unit for developing a non-demanding, erotically stimulating climate in the privacy of their own quarters.

At no time during the two-week therapy program is either of the marital partners under any form of observation, laboratory, or otherwise. Only the phenomenon of vaginismus is directly demonstrated to the husband of the distressed wife, under conditions routinely employed by appropriate practitioners of clinical medicine.

The co-therapists’ initial directions suggest ways of putting aside tension-provoking behavioral interaction for the duration of the rapid-treatment program and allow the woman to discover and share knowledge of those things which she personally finds to be sexually stimulating.

The further professional contribution must suggest to the marital unit ways and means to create an opportunity for the woman to think and feel sexually with spontaneity. She must be made fully aware that she has permission to express her sexual feelings during this phase of the therapy program without focusing on her partner’s sexual function except by enjoying a personal awareness of the direct stimulus to her sexual tensions that his obvious physical response provides.

Every non-orgasmic woman, whether distressed by primary or situational dysfunction, must develop adaptations within areas of perceptual, behavioral, and philosophic experience.

She must learn or relearn to feel sexual (respond to sexual stimuli) within the context of and related directly to shared sexual activities with her partner as they correlate with the expression of her own sexual identity, mood, preferences, and expectations.

The bridge between her sexual feeling (perception) and sexual thinking (philosophy) essentially is established through comfortable use of verbal and nonverbal (specifically physical) communication of shared experience with her marital partner.

Her philosophic adaptation to the acceptance and appreciation of sexual stimuli is further dependent upon the establishment of “permission” to express herself sexually. Any alteration in the sexual value system must, of course, be consistent with her own personality and social value system if the adaptation is to be internalized.

Keeping in mind the similarities between male and female sexual response, the crucial factors most often missing in the sexual value system of the non-orgasmic woman are the pleasure in, the honoring of, and the privilege to express the need for the sexual experience.

Restoration of sexual feeling to its appropriate psychosocial context (the primary focus of the therapy for the non-orgasmic woman) is the reversal of sexual dissembling. This, in turn, encourages a more supportive role for her sexuality. In the larger context of a sexual relationship, the freedom to express need is part of the “give-to-get” concept of inherent incapacity and facility for effective sexual responsivity.

Professional direction must allow for a woman’s justifiable, socially enhancing need for personal commitment because her capacity to respond sexually is influenced by psychosocial demand.

The commitment functions as her “permission” to involve herself sexually, when prior opportunities available to the formation of a sexual value system have not included an honorable concept of her sexuality as a basis upon which to accept and express her sexual identity.

Commitment apparently means many things to as many different women; most frequently encountered are the commitments of marriage or the promise of marriage, the commitment of love (real or anticipated) according to the interpretation of “love” for the particular individual.

Regardless of the form, the commitment takes after it is established the goal to be attained is the enjoyment of sexual expression for its own positive return and its enhancement of those involved.

During daily therapy sessions, interrogation of the sexually dysfunctional woman is designed to elicit material that expresses the emotions and thoughts that accompany the feelings (sexual or otherwise) developed by the sensate-focus exercise.

Also continually explored are the feelings, thoughts, and emotions that are related to the behavior of her marital partner. Her reactions when discussing material of sexual connotation are evaluated carefully to determine those things which may be contributing to ongoing inhibition or distortion being revealed by the regular episodes of psychophysiological interaction with her husband.

When a non-orgasmic female involves herself with her partner in situations providing opportunities for effective sexual function, her ever-present need is to establish and maintain communication.

Communication, both physical and verbal in nature, makes vital contributions, but it loses effectiveness in the rapid-treatment method is allowed to be colored by anger, frustration, or misunderstanding. While verbal communication is encouraged throughout the two-week period, physical communication is introduced in progressive steps following the initial authoritative suggestion to provide a non demanding, warmly encompassing, shared experience for the woman, with optimal opportunity for feeling.

After the early return from sensate-focus opportunity as directed at the roundtable discussion has been judged fully effective by marital partners and co-therapists the marital unit is encouraged to move to the next phase in sensate pleasure genital manipulation.

The co-therapists should issue specific instructions to the marital partners as “permission” is granted to the female to enjoy genital play.

Sexual instructions should include details of positioning, approach, time span, and above all, a listing of ways and means to avoid the usual pitfalls of male failure to stimulate his partner in the manner she prefers rather than as she permits him the privilege to function.

Treat Orgasm

Neither the biophysical nor the psychosocial systems which influence the expression of the human sexual component have a biologically controlled demand to make specifically positive or negative contributions to sexual function.

This fact does not alter the potential of the systems’ interdigitation contribution to the formation of effective patterns of sexual response. When this potential is not realized by the natural development of psychophysiological sexual complements, the result is sexual dysfunction.

The initial psychosocial contributions toward the realization of this potential may come through a positive experience of early imprinting. Imprinting is a process whereby a perceptual signal is matched to an innate releasing mechanism that elicits a behavioral pattern. Established at critical periods in development, imprints thereafter are considered more or less permanent.

Infantile imprinting of sexually undifferentiated sensory receptivity to the warmth and sensation of close body contact is considered a source of formative contribution to an individual’s baseline of erotic inclinations and choices.

This material essentially is unobtainable in specific form during history-taking. It becomes important to the rapid-treatment program only as it is reflected by statements of preference in physical communication or other recall pertinent to ongoing patterns of sexual responsivity.

Treatment Of Orgasmic Dysfunction

Foundation personnel makes use of two primary sources of material. These sources reliably reflect the female’s prevailing sexual attitudes, receptivity, and levels of responsivity. The first source, derived from history, is the identification by the non-orgasmic woman of erotically significant expectations or experiences (positive or negative) currently evoked during a sexual interchange with her marital partner.

The co-therapists must identify those things which the husband does or does not do that may not meet the requirements of his wife’s sexual value system previously shaped by real or imagined experience or expectation.

Past experiences of positive content involving other partners, or unrealizable expectations perceived as ideal, maybe over idealistically compared by her to the current opportunity; or negative experiences or negative expectation-related attitudes may intrude upon receptivity to her partner’s sexual approach.

Thus, a rejection or blocking of sexual input may be the result.

A discussion of memories of perceptual and interpretive reactions associated with the specific sexual activity may add a further dimension to the knowledge of the wife’s currently constituted sexual value system since these memories often have been noted to function as signals for the subconscious introduction of stored experience, either positive or negative in nature.

The second source of reliable, directly applicable material upon which the rapid-treatment therapy relies for direction indeed, it characterizes this particular mode of psychotherapy is developed from the daily discussions that follow each sensate-focus exercise.

As repeatedly stressed, defining the etiology of the presenting sexual inadequacy does not necessarily provide the basis for treatment. A reasonably reliable history is indispensable, but it is used primarily to provide interpretive direction and to amplify the definition of that which is of individual significance. (It even is used from time to time to demonstrate negative patterns of sexual behaviors)

The husband has directed to place himself in a sitting (slightly reclining, if desired) position, with his back against a comfortable placement of pillows at the headboard of the bed. With the husband’s legs adequately separated to allow his wife to sit between them, she should recline with her back against his chest, pillowing her head on his shoulder.

The length of torsos should determine the reclining angle that permits her head to rest comfortably. Her legs are then separated and extended across those of her husband.

This position provides a degree of warm security for the woman (“back-protected” phenomenon) and allows freedom of access for the man to encourage creative exploration of his wife’s entire body in the sensate-focus concept.

The level of physical communication in the manipulative sessions is encouraged further by direction for the female partner to place her hand in a lightly riding position on that of her husband.

By using a slight increase in pressure or gentle directional movement, the “where and how” of her need of the moment may be immediately communicated to her receptive husband. This and other forms of nonverbal communication allow sharing of her particular desires as they occur as manifestations of her sexual value system, and constitute a secure way by which her marital partner can identify and fulfill these desires by meaningful interaction.

This means of direct physical communication also provides the woman with the freedom to request specifics of genital play without the distraction of forced verbal requests or a detailed explanation.

Any spontaneous form of expression of a man’s own sexual tensions is one of the most interactive contributions that he can make to his wife. It is a viable component of sexual “give to get” in any circumstance of physical sharing.

This principle applies equally to the marital unit carrying out the simplest sensate-focus exercise in the therapy program as it does to a marital unit that has never known sexual dysfunction.

The man must not presume his wife’s desire for a particular stimulative approach, nor must he introduce his own choice of stimuli. The husband’s assumption of expertise has no place in the initial learning phase of a marital unit seeking to reverse the life’s nonorgasmic condition.

The trial-and-error hazard this poses is not worth the small possibility of accidental pleasure that might be achieved. In truth, error in some facet of this controlled manipulative form of physical communication has already been established, or the marital-unit members probably would not consider themselves in need of professional support.

Only after both marital partners have established the fact of the wife’s sexual effectiveness with controlled genital play and have developed dependable physical signal systems should trial-and-error stimulative techniques be crone a naturally occurring dimension of pleasure.

It is well to mention that even those partners with an established, effective sexual relationship may find it both appropriate and advisable to check out their physical signal systems by verbal communication from time to time.

An additional value derived from the non-demand position and its accompanying sensate exercises is its contribution to the removal of the potential spectator’s role.

This role can become as much a pitfall for the nonorgasmic woman as it is for the impotent male. Already considered in descriptions of female-oriented patterns of sexual dissimulation, the spectator role is dissipated when the sexual involvement of husband and wife becomes mutually encompassing for both partners.

Educational Direction

For the husband is an integral part of the genital-play episodes. The co-therapists must be certain that the basics of effective pelvic play are clearly enunciated if the male partner is to provide an effective measure of stimulative return for the woman involved.

The husband is instructed both to allow and to encourage his wife to indicate specific preferences in the stimulative approach either by the light touch of her hand on his or by moving slightly toward the desired approach or away from excessive pressure.

Probably the greatest error that any man makes approaching a woman sexually is that of a direct attack upon the clitoral glans unless this is the stated wish of his particular partner. The glans of the clitoris has the same embryonic developmental background as that of the penis but usually is much more sensitive to touch.

As female sex tensions elevate, sensations of irritation, or even pain, may result from direct clitoral manipulation.

Rarely do women, when masturbating, manipulate the clitoral glans directly. Therefore, the male approach to clitoral stimulation would do well to correspond to that employed by women when providing self-release. There is a further, perhaps more subtle, reason for relative care in the intensity of stimulative concentration directed to the clitoris. This post is sponsored by our partners.

This originates from the fact that the clitoris, as a receptor and a transmitter of sexual stimuli, can rapidly react to create an overwhelming degree of sensation. When such a high level of biophysical tension is reached before the psychosocial concomitant has been subjectively appreciated, the woman experiences too much sensation too soon and finds it difficult to accept.

In the interest of a pleasurable, evolving sexual responsivity, the clitoris should not be approached directly. Specifically, manipulation should be conducted in the general mons area, particularly along either side of the clitoral shaft.

It must be remembered that the inner aspects of the thighs and the labia also are erotically identified areas for most women. Pressure and direction of manual stimulation should be controlled initially by the female partner for two educative reasons.

1. full freedom of manipulative control provides her with the opportunity to feel and think sexually without having to adjust to a partner’s assumption of what pleases her.
2. female control of manipulative activity also educates the male partner into the particular woman’s basic preferences in the stimulative approach to the clitoral area.

It must also be borne in mind by the male partner that there is no lubricating material available to the clitoris. As female sex tension increases there will be a sufficient amount of lubrication at the vaginal outlet.

This should be maneuvered manually from the vagina to include the general area of the clitoris. Vaginal lubrication used in this manner will prevent the irritation of the clitoral area that always accompanies any significant degree of manipulation of a dry surface.

A further dimension of sexual excitation is derived from manipulation of the vaginal outlet when lubricating material is acquired for clitoral spread by superficial finger insertion. There is usually little value returned from the deep vaginal insertion of the fingers, particularly early in the stimulative process.

While some women have reported a mental translation of the ensuing intravaginal sensation to that of penile containment, few had any preference for the opportunity.

When the marital partners extend their psychosensory interchange to coition in the female-superior position, the wife once mounted is instructed to hold herself quite still and simply to absorb the awareness of penile containment.

Interspersed with moments of sensate pleasure created by her proprioceptive awareness of vaginal dilatation should be the opportunity to feel and think sexually. The vaginal distention should be interpreted as the sensual desire for further increment in sexual pleasure.

This increasing demand for sexual stimulation can be further implemented by the female partner if she will institute a brief period of controlled, slowly exploring, pelvic thrusting. The husband’s specific responsibility at this moment is to provide the needed erect penis without any concept of a demanding thrusting pattern on his part.

In anticipation of her need, the co-therapists must encourage the wife to think of the encompassed penis as hers to play with, to feel, and to enjoy, until the urge for more severe pelvic thrusting involuntarily emerges into her levels of conscious demand. It may take several episodes of female-superior coital positioning, as the woman plays pelvically with the contained penis before full sensate focus develops vaginally.

Once vaginal sensation develops a pleasant or even a fully demanding vein, the next phase is to add to the sensate picture the male-initiated, non demanding, slow pelvic thrusting.

The non-demanding thrusting by the husband should be kept at a pace communicated by his wife. This constrained form of male pelvic thrusting is suggested to create an obvious opportunity for the extension of the female’s sensory potential and to provide sufficient stimulative activity to maintain an effective erection.

Ejaculatory Control

At this time the question frequently asked by the male member of marital units whose concept of sexual interaction has been based primarily on the stock formula of performing, produce, and achieve is, “What if I feel like ejaculating?” It requires continuous effort by the co-therapists to convey the concept not only that acquiring ejaculatory control is possible but also that such a facility usually is enhancing for the male as well as his female partner.

The couple must be educated to understand that ejaculatory control enlarges the range of sensual pleasure in the sexual relationship for both marital partners. However, it is appropriate for co-therapists to emphasize the fact that ejaculation or spontaneously occurring orgasm is not caused for alarm, nor is this involuntary breakthrough considered a breach of direction.

The husband and wife must be reassured that if such a breakthrough from the original direction occurs, the experience should be enjoyed for itself. Within a reasonable length of time, the unit is encouraged to provide another opportunity in which to follow the originally described interactive concepts.

When the husband has developed security of erective maintenance, the episodes of vaginal containment with exploratory pelvic thrusting should continue for as long as both partners demonstrate pleasurable reactions. At appropriate intervals during the total coital episode, the partners should separate two or three times and lie together in each other’s arms.

Once rested, they should return to whatever manner of manual sensate pleasuring they previously enjoyed and continue without any concept of time demand. They should remount, again using the female-superior position, repeating earlier opportunity for the wife’s stimulative proprioceptive awareness of vaginal containment of the penis to be emphasized by alternate periods of exploratory thrusting and lying quietly together in the coital connection.

The timing and duration of sexually stimulative activity should follow the directive formula as outlined in the Therapy topic. Generally interpreted, any period of time is acceptable that emerges from mutual interest and continues to be enjoyable for both marital partners without the incidence of either emotional or physical fatigue.

Once both partners have been successfully educated to employ experimental pelvic movement during their episodes of coital connection rather than following the usual prior pattern of demanding pelvic thrusting, a major step has been accomplished.

Women have little opportunity to feel and think sexually while pursuing or receiving a pattern of forceful pelvic thrusting before their own encompassing levels of excitation are established.

If a woman initiates the demanding thrusting, she usually is attempting to force or to will an orgasmic response. The wife repeatedly must be assured that this forceful approach will not contribute to the facility of response.

If the husband initiates the driving, thrusting coital pattern, the wife must devote conscious effort to accommodate to the rhythm of his thrusting, and her opportunity for quiet sensate pleasure in coital connection is lost.

Frequently, it is of help to assure the wife that once the marital unit is sexually joined, the penis belongs to her just as the vagina belongs to her husband. When vaginal penetration occurs, both partners have literally given of themselves as physical beings to derive pleasure, each from the other.